🎵The Loud Reset🎶

Lately, life has felt like a series of tiny restarts. Not the kind you announce or plan — just the quiet kind. The ones that happen when you wake up with that small pulse above your eye, the headache that reminds you your body misses caffeine more than it should. The kind that fade once you start moving, once the day begins pulling you back into motion.

Alesha’s Mix

I’ve been paying attention to those moments more lately — the in-between ones. When I’m driving for Uber with the music just loud enough to drown out my own thoughts. When I’m parked somewhere eating a salad or sipping a sugar-free drink that actually tastes pretty good. One day my blood sugar numbers won’t define the rest of my day.

At home, it’s different. The noise, the love, the chaos — it all hits different when you don’t feel like yourself. My girls are wild and wonderful, my husband is endlessly supportive, and my in-laws are saints, but there’s still this invisible wall between who I want to be and who I am right now. Some days it feels like I can almost knock it down. Other days, I just stare at it and wonder if I’m supposed to build a door instead.

Uber has become more than a side hustle lately — it’s therapy with a steering wheel. It’s the one place I don’t feel trapped. I can cry if I need to, sing like nobody’s listening, or sit in silence and let my thoughts stretch their legs for a while. At home, I can’t always find that same peace. It’s nobody’s fault — I think it’s just the way I process things.

I’ve also noticed the little signs that my body gives me when something’s off — a lump in my throat, a wave of nausea, a sugar spike that comes out of nowhere. It’s not fun, but it’s honest. And I guess that’s the theme lately: honesty. With myself, with my limits, and with the version of me that’s still learning to listen before reacting.

I’m still daydreaming, of course — that part never stops. The dream version of me has her business booming, her pop-up booth shining under soft string lights, her “Alesha Made” sign polished and perfect. She’s handing out tote bags, stickers, calendars, and smiles. She’s running her little empire with grace, humor, and a grande iced coffee.

But for now, this version of me is just focusing on feeling okay again — one drive, one meal, one blog post at a time.

🤕 Lost and Weak, But Hopefully Back To Norm🩸

It’s been a while since my last update, and honestly… I’ve really been struggling lately. My blood sugar has been dangerously high to the point that I can’t even have coffee — which has always been my morning comfort ritual. It sounds small, but when you’re already trying to hold yourself together, the little things hit the hardest. I don’t know how to describe it except that I’ve just felt off. Physically, emotionally, mentally — all of it.

Because of all that, I haven’t done anything for Alesha Made. I didn’t prep for my pop-up shop (again), and that disappointment has been eating at me. Every time I start thinking about what I should’ve done by now, I feel that familiar guilt creeping in — that mix of frustration and sadness that makes me want to just disappear for a bit. So I’ve spent days just sitting in my truck, scrolling or thinking, trying to find motivation and ending up with guilt instead. I hate that feeling — like I’ve let my creative side go quiet.

Uber has honestly become the one thing that’s helped me feel like me. It’s weird to say, but it’s become my therapy. When I’m driving, I get to zone out — no one judging the silence, what I’m eating, or how I’m feeling. Sometimes I even cry, and it’s okay because no one’s there to see it. It’s my quiet time. My escape. And honestly, the only real “exercise” I get.

At home, I just feel trapped. Not because of anyone — but because I can’t seem to make myself feel truly comfortable in my own space. Lawrence, as always, is so supportive and constantly encourages me to rest and listen to my body. The girls feel a little more chaotic than usual, maybe because I’ve been feeling so weak lately. My father-in-law is honestly one of the most generous men you could ever meet, and my mother-in-law — a true saint — does everything and helps in ways you wouldn’t believe. Still, it’s like there’s this invisible wall between who I want to be and who I am right now… and I just can’t figure out how to break it down.

But today, something shifted. I don’t know if it’s because I finally did a successful Uber shift, or just got tired of feeling sorry for myself, but for the first time in days, I feel like me again. Like maybe the version of me that gets things done — the one who dreams big, creates, plans, and actually does — or at least the part that’s willing to try. I’m tired of giving up on myself. I don’t want to just talk about Alesha Made anymore; I want to be her again.

I’ve missed her.

So, if I can keep even a small spark of this energy alive, maybe I can still turn it around, instead of just thinking about it 🖤

California Family Weekend (October 10-14, 2025)

I know… it’s been a minute since my last update (October 3rd, to be exact). I had every intention of posting sooner, but life — in true Alesha-style unpredictability— had other plans. Between family chaos, last-minute packing, and one emotional sweatshirt meltdown (more on that in a second), I completely fell off my blogging rhythm.

But we just got back from the most unforgettable California weekend, and honestly, it feels like the perfect story to jump back in with. So here we go — the full recap of our October getaway and all the in-between family moments that made the trip one for the books.

Last Thursday, right after Lawrence got off work, we loaded up and hit the road for California — a whole family trip that somehow came together last minute but ended up being exactly what we needed. Between me and Lawrence, our two girls, my mom, my sisters, and all the kids, we pretty much filled every seat and car snack bag possible. Even my sister’s boyfriend’s youngest daughter came along, which made it feel like one big blended bunch.

About thirty minutes before we left, I made matching “Save the Chubby Unicorns” sweatshirts for the girls — pink with a rhino silhouette. But in true pre-trip Alesha-isms fashion, I managed to put the larger logo on the smaller sweatshirt and the smaller logo on the larger sweatshirt. I was so mad at myself I stomped around and cried for five minutes before Lawrence calmed me down, reminding me no one would notice. (Of course, I thought about it the entire drive to San Diego!) And as always, Lawrence was right 😌

On Friday, we spent the day at the San Diego Zoo. The kids got in free, which was a huge help, and even though there wasn’t trick-or-treating, it was still such a fun day wandering the zoo together. The toddlers were obsessed with the monkeys, and the teenagers took turns complaining that we were moving too slow 😅 We even got the sweetest picture of Lucy, Sara, and their cousin standing by an orangutan that had everyone laughing because it looked like he was posing with them (see the sweatshirts that caused my crash out).

Saturday was all about Legoland. Me, Lawrence, and the girls have annual passes, so my mom covered the rest of the tickets for everyone else (she really went above and beyond as always). The kids wore their costumes for the Brick-or-Treat event — Admission was free for the kiddos under 11 with a paid adult, which made it even better. Seeing all the cousins running around together, trading candy and taking pictures by the Lego pumpkins, felt like one of those core memories we’ll talk about every Halloween.

By Sunday, my mom was supposed to head home with everyone else, but she decided to stay an extra night — classic her. We spent the day at Belmont Park, splitting up, the teens got wristbands for unlimited rides, while us adults and toddlers hung back perfectly happy bouncing between the arcade games and snacks. After sitting at the beach and taking in the cool breeze, I booked my mom another room so she could enjoy San Diego one more night, and it honestly made the trip feel more complete having her there through the end.

After checking out on Monday, it was just my little family and my youngest sister, and we decided to spend the afternoon exploring a food hall near Legoland in Carlsbad that had 11 mini restaurants. We tried something from almost every one — pho noodles, sushi, spam rolls, boba drinks, an Italian meat sub with sweet potato fries, pizza, and mini donuts. Everything was so good, and by the time we finished, we were stuffed and ready for the five-hour drive home.

We left California with full bellies, tired feet, and the best kind of chaos — the kind that comes with having your whole family together and actually enjoying it. It wasn’t a fancy trip, just one of those weekends that reminds you how good it feels to be surrounded by your family ♥️

Metallic Drips & Uber Races

Tonight’s adventure was a mix of creativity and competition. Before heading out to Uber, I made myself a shirt with a shiny, metallic Nike logo dripping across the front. It felt like the perfect little confidence boost — nothing beats wearing something you designed with your own two hands.

But the real fun? Lawrence and I decided to turn Ubering into a race. We each took separate cars out and set the challenge: who can make the most money tonight? It’s silly, but also so motivating. Every time a ride request comes in, I feel like I’m chasing points in a video game. Meanwhile, Lawrence is doing the same just a few streets away.

We’ve been texting updates between trips, cheering ourselves on while trying to outdo each other. It feels like a date night disguised as work — complete with friendly competition. Winner gets bragging rights (and maybe late-night snacks courtesy of the other).

Sometimes it’s little challenges like this that make the grind more fun. And honestly? The shirt may have given me the edge 😉

Issue No. 4 - October 2025